JUST THIS MORNING..

"Sometimes, recalling the hurtful memories of the past makes me laugh and wonder why I cried. However, it makes me realize that I really had loved. Though not with the perfect person and not at the perfect time, yet I had loved perfectly.."

I wake up late this morning unaware that I haven’t changed my yesterday’s clothes. I’m wondering why. Then I came to realize that we hopped to a bar last night, had a little drink and went home past midnight.

I’m afraid because I know my mother would reprimand me for many reasons. First, I didn’t ask her permission to go to the bar. Second, I drank beer – that’s prohibited! Third, I went home late, not to mention – the dawn is breaking already.

I slowly went out of my room and my mother interrogated me… Blah…blah…blah… she goes. Usually, when she’s doing that stuff, I would go back to my room and cry all day. But just this morning is different, I just answered her truthfully, told her everything. Maybe because she was shocked by my reactions, she uttered a high-pitched voice saying “ I'm gonna send you the Home of Streetchildren!”. To whom is she talking to? To a 10-year old girl? I just laughed at her. Then, my dad and my sister laughed too. My mom couldn't help but laughed too. We're all laughing just this morning.

Then I received text messages from my him, my boyfriend. I was so glad that I’m so excited to take a bath – refresh myself, eat breakfast which i don’t usually do, and go to my hide-out, to the internet café. I was overwhelmed with happiness.

Suddenly, he told me that he’s leaving.
I didn’t know what to do.
I felt as if I was physically and mentally blocked.
It seemed I died during that moment.
I burst into tears.

I went back to my bed. I left my food on the table. I didn't want to take a bath anymore. I didn't want to get up. I just wanted to cry the whole day.

Supposedly, I was to cry for my mother's reproof – but I laughed.
Supposedly, I was to smile for his text messages – but I wept.

Just this morning, a lot of things happened.
Just this morning, there was a sudden twist of my emotions.

I just wish I never had this morning at all.

Morning with Mandy

I was working in call center before. Our supervisor at the same time our trainer instructed us to do a talk show by pairs. And guess what? We only have few minutes to prepare it! I named the show Morning with Mandy. I as Mandy and Faye as Faye Parker.

Mandy:
Hi everyone! Welcome to another episode of Morning with Mandy.

Do you believe that successful woman in her career is a loser when it comes to lovelife? I don’t know. We’ll find that out with our very special guest, the current CEO of the largest telecommunications company in Asia – Globally Smart Communications. Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s welcome the beautiful careerwoman Ms. Faye Parker!

Hi Faye! Have a seat please. How are you today?

Faye:
I’m feeling really good right now.

Mandy:
Wow, we can see that because you glow! What do you think is your asset for being chosen as the new CEO?

Faye:
Well, my secret to that is doing the best with my job all the time. I’m working very hard that sometimes, I don’t have time for my family.

Mandy:
Really? But with the success that you have right now, lots of people envy you. We’ve heard about you and your husband. Is the divorce really final? I hope you don’t mind me asking.

Faye:
It's fine. Actually it was already done, we are now legally separated. He doesn’t understand my job. But, I do understand him.

Mandy:
Oh, that must have been very frustrating for you sometimes.

Faye:
Yeah, sometimes.

Mandy:
Have you ever thought of having your family back?

Faye:
Yes. But not right now, although they are my inspiration as I am at the peak of my career.

Mandy:
What is the significance of your career in your life?

Faye:
Well, it has a great significance because it’s like a dream coming true. It is the sweet fruit of my bitter labor. Because of it, I am continuously learning at the same time sharing what I have learned to others.

Mandy:
So, can we say that you chose career over love for your family?

Faye:
Yes, partly. It is because while I’m doing good with my job, I didn’t realize that my family is chaotic already. But still, I love them and I have achieved all of these because of them. It’s just that sometimes we have to be hurt in order to be happy. That’s what happened to me.

Mandy:
Very well-said! We’ve learned a lot from you Faye. Again Congratulations! Thank you very much. I am very honored to have you here. Good luck to your career!

Luckily, I have never a choice between my lovelife and my career, but have any of you? If so, what did you choose? And if you did not, how would you weigh things to make a decision like this?

Be careful. Goodbye.